How old is this place that there is a fire place in the bathroom?

I an currently sitting in the german town social security office. A mass of incredably slow beurocracy and human diversity. And in every room, a framed picture of george w bush. Why? Is that a rule, that every government office has to have the presidents picture?

In the financial age office there are insperation pictures on the wall. they say destiny, justice, faith and reason. Thats fine, the real problem is that none of the corresponding pictures have anything to do the words. They are a all at the beach of things like sticks, birds, a old boat,and another one of absolutly nothing. Just the sky. Why? Why there pictures? Come on financial age office, lets put a litte effort into our inspiration.

Sitting in the waiting room as i prepare to pee into a cup to prove i'm not a drug addict, i watch the nurse/attendent. Office is abandoned except for this one, extreeny board and unhappy looking woman. i'M going to try and talk to her. she prob loanly, sitting here on her own all day. I would be.

I am currently sitting in orientation, surrounded by bright eyed students and parents. It makes me wish that i had done the tradional track and gone to collage right off the back, lived in the dorms. You know, done the whole deal. But them i remember my life and where god has taken me in the last 8 years...and i feel very happy and greatful.

My favorite thing to do at night is to walk the maze of row houses. I put some music in my ears and a clove on my lips and meander down the road imagining i'm in a movie, the music in my ears the soundtrack. It helps me think. To feel removed from my reality as if watching on a screen. i can't be the onlyone who does and thinks like this. And yet the sidewalk is so empty.

I have been here for about a week now. What have I done? it feels like a whole lot of nothing. But not that I really give it serious consideration i have done...enough. I have found a church, bought and assembled a room, gotten ready for school, searched for a possibly found a job.

But still i spend most of my day sitting in the house. Like my own private alamo, secluded from the outside world. I don't want to do this, it's just that i have nothing to do, nowhere to really go, and no money to waste.

Actually this isn't really an alamo, it's a self made prison.

But the irony still abounds in the fact that i really like this house. I really like my housemates and i really like Philadelphia. I just need more to do.

And to add the small ironic cherry to the top of all this. In a month when i and going to school, working and (hopefully) have a social life i will long for these days of nothingness back.

-mike