I am a lazy bastard.
I have a dirty love affair with T.V. from which i occasionally take a break to wrap myself around my second lover...internet.
I hate this about myself, but through the last 25 years using these things for entertainment and relaxation has become engrained in me. When I'm without it I get so board and restless.
painfully board.
I've been thinking about this a lot and why it is so. I mean, I'm sure people on the prairie didn't get board as easily as me. Does that mean they were more content...happier? Does that fact that I need more and more stuff, greater and greater stimulus, louder and louder voices to occupy my mind and be content?
As if to drive the point home my friend Chris www.kretzu.com/blog posted this video
So now i'm thinking,
mabey progress isn't everything we think it is.
more on this later...i'm getting board.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
A thoughts on thoughts
I used to think differently.
I used to have real deep important thoughts about interesting things. I don't feel like I do this anymore.
This ability was stolen from me, like a midnight thief through the unlocked doors of my mind. I even know who the culprit it.
SCHOOL!
I've never been very good at school. I chalk this up to the fact that my attention span really didn't mature much since Jr. High, and Jr. high was ROUGH. So it takes so much of my concentration, so much of my mental energies that there is no room for the pondering of questions of why, or how, what the hell does this really mean. It's all taken up with the facts, figures and forms that i'll need for a test later.
For the most part I'm ok with this. I figure it's a season now where i'm taking in information and world view changes. Later I'll have the time and energy to make connections between it all that make some kind of sense and help me answer a question or two.
But on the down side it has made me a TERRIBLE conversationist. I'm a cacophony of awkward pauses and confusing logic. My apologies to anyone i have spoken to on the phone with lately.
poor grandma. (shakes head in guilt)
And then there's also the fear that sits in the back of my head that i've somehow lost the ability to think like I once did. But if I went into all the fears that are in the back of that thing i'd be blogging for days.
I used to have real deep important thoughts about interesting things. I don't feel like I do this anymore.
This ability was stolen from me, like a midnight thief through the unlocked doors of my mind. I even know who the culprit it.
SCHOOL!
I've never been very good at school. I chalk this up to the fact that my attention span really didn't mature much since Jr. High, and Jr. high was ROUGH. So it takes so much of my concentration, so much of my mental energies that there is no room for the pondering of questions of why, or how, what the hell does this really mean. It's all taken up with the facts, figures and forms that i'll need for a test later.
For the most part I'm ok with this. I figure it's a season now where i'm taking in information and world view changes. Later I'll have the time and energy to make connections between it all that make some kind of sense and help me answer a question or two.
But on the down side it has made me a TERRIBLE conversationist. I'm a cacophony of awkward pauses and confusing logic. My apologies to anyone i have spoken to on the phone with lately.
poor grandma. (shakes head in guilt)
And then there's also the fear that sits in the back of my head that i've somehow lost the ability to think like I once did. But if I went into all the fears that are in the back of that thing i'd be blogging for days.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Thursday, June 21, 2007
words words words....with a sprinkle of meaning
In the search for truth we follow great but fleeting scents I catch upon the wind. They lead us in their direction, in frantic desperate steps. Then fade away into the mire of the familiar smoke of heavy lies surrounding us. We are confused, with no other choice, walking slowly, in the direction, stumbling along like children in the dark. Until we catch the scent again and run.
They are all honest humble steps
Though taken by a fools and a thieves
Be patient, I must go slowly…be patient with me.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
connections
At what level must we connect with people in order to love them?
how vulnerable must we become.
Saul wrote, "above all things guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life." Can i still truly love and have deep connections with people and still "guard my heart?"
or to truly love in the way that Christ loved and in the way that brings true freedom must I be willing to show my heart and in the same way make it vulnerable. Vulnerable to already broken people...the kind that are most likley to hurt it.
Or i can stand on the outskurts. Have friends, showing as much grace and love as possible but never allowing them to enter in. to come to that dangerous vulnerable place, instead always make sure i am able to walk away easly if need be.
"above all else guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life."
a couple of questions for my mind to consider and my soul to wrestle with.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
A blog on Blogs, (aka) a blog blog, (aka) Thoughts on blogging.
I love blogging. I love the idea of putting ones thought out there in a cohesive and organized manor. Which is in stark contrast to how we often feel we are communicating ourselves to the world.
I love the idea of reading someone's thoughts. Weather they be broken of triumphant. I like people's thoughts. Especially when they are humble and honest... proud posers need not apply.
I would do it much more except that one though nags at me as I set to type out the jumbled mess that is my thoughts, "why am I doing this?"
On the one hand I think that honesty is a main path to our freedom. The ability to be completely truthfull with who you are and how you think and feel, putting it all out there for any and all to read (and if they must) judge.
But not really care.
On the other hand, am I just doing this as a huge "LOOK AT ME!!" not so silently looking for some sort of validation and notoriety? Waiting with a hope that sits in the back of one's mind that says...please notice and care.
I don't want to be an attention whore...I fear I already am.
But I don't want to hide either, afraid to be open, to be known.
dear Jesus, When you finally come out with bible part 2 (and frankly we could really use it about now) please include a chunk
on the internet. Thank you.
-mike
Sunday, September 17, 2006
a poem
One faint glimmer heavey shadows fail to drown
But hide away, hide away, never hear a sound
he crys mercy now and again by mouth and mind
What is it I am to find, Was to see, fail to look for
The glimmer flickers one at him
What which he could not kill but smothered in sin
by loves great tenacity it was the light that mould not leave
Through actions moan, "let me alone."
it always stayed with him
a cool and steady wind
the constant truth of LOVE
words words words....with a sprinkle of meaning
In the search for truth we follow great but fleeting scents I catch upon the wind. They lead us in their direction, in frantic desperate steps. Then fade away into the mire of the familiar smoke of heavy lies surrounding us. We are confused, with no other choice, walking slowly, in the direction, stumbling along like children in the dark. Until we catch the scent again and run.
They are all honest humble steps
Though taken by a fools and a thieves
Be patient, I must go slowly…be patient with me.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
connections
At what level must we connect with people in order to love them?
how vulnerable must we become.
Saul wrote, "above all things guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life." Can i still truly love and have deep connections with people and still "guard my heart?"
or to truly love in the way that Christ loved and in the way that brings true freedom must I be willing to show my heart and in the same way make it vulnerable. Vulnerable to already broken people...the kind that are most likley to hurt it.
Or i can stand on the outskurts. Have friends, showing as much grace and love as possible but never allowing them to enter in. to come to that dangerous vulnerable place, instead always make sure i am able to walk away easly if need be.
"above all else guard your heart, for it is the well spring of life."
a couple of questions for my mind to consider and my soul to wrestle with.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
A blog on Blogs, (aka) a blog blog, (aka) Thoughts on blogging.
I love blogging. I love the idea of putting ones thought out there in a cohesive and organized manor. Which is in stark contrast to how we often feel we are communicating ourselves to the world.
I love the idea of reading someone's thoughts. Weather they be broken of triumphant. I like people's thoughts. Especially when they are humble and honest... proud posers need not apply.
I would do it much more except that one though nags at me as I set to type out the jumbled mess that is my thoughts, "why am I doing this?"
On the one hand I think that honesty is a main path to our freedom. The ability to be completely truthfull with who you are and how you think and feel, putting it all out there for any and all to read (and if they must) judge.
But not really care.
On the other hand, am I just doing this as a huge "LOOK AT ME!!" not so silently looking for some sort of validation and notoriety? Waiting with a hope that sits in the back of one's mind that says...please notice and care.
I don't want to be an attention whore...I fear I already am.
But I don't want to hide either, afraid to be open, to be known.
dear Jesus, When you finally come out with bible part 2 (and frankly we could really use it about now) please include a chunk
on the internet. Thank you.
-mike
Sunday, September 17, 2006
a poem
One faint glimmer heavey shadows fail to drown
But hide away, hide away, never hear a sound
he crys mercy now and again by mouth and mind
What is it I am to find, Was to see, fail to look for
The glimmer flickers one at him
What which he could not kill but smothered in sin
by loves great tenacity it was the light that mould not leave
Through actions moan, "let me alone."
it always stayed with him
a cool and steady wind
the constant truth of LOVE
past thoughts and musings
I have not post on here in a loooong time. And just like returning to the game after a long leisurely off season i feel I need to ease my way back in, lest I pull a blog-muscle. The most self-involved muscle of them all. So i'm going to start with a bunch of old blogs that i liked.
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Psh...you would read this, wouldn't you.
There are certain sentences that if you fespond to someone else with them, it really doesn't matter what you say, it's kind of insulting.
Case and point; "you would _______." IT really doesnt matter what the other person says. If you respond with this. It's a bit insulting and your first reaction nay very well be do deny the accusation.
Person 1: I just gave away everything to the homeless.
Person 2: Psh, you would give away everything to the homeless.
Person 1: I just saved 20 orphans from that burning building!
Person 2: You would save them.
Person 1: I just won 500 dollers
Person 2: You would win.
Go ahead try it with your friends. Just throw it in at some point!
You would try it!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Psh...you would read this, wouldn't you.
There are certain sentences that if you fespond to someone else with them, it really doesn't matter what you say, it's kind of insulting.
Case and point; "you would _______." IT really doesnt matter what the other person says. If you respond with this. It's a bit insulting and your first reaction nay very well be do deny the accusation.
Person 1: I just gave away everything to the homeless.
Person 2: Psh, you would give away everything to the homeless.
Person 1: I just saved 20 orphans from that burning building!
Person 2: You would save them.
Person 1: I just won 500 dollers
Person 2: You would win.
Go ahead try it with your friends. Just throw it in at some point!
You would try it!
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