I'm falling behind

I generally have trouble going to sleep. I'm not sure why this is but it's been true ever since i got here. And i'm pretty sure it's detrimental to both my physical and mental health. So last night, after the Philly's game was rained out, I forced myself to turn off the light and lay there until uncontiouness found me. it worked.

But this morning i woke up at about 6am, with nothing to do but curse the cold that was scratching at my nose and allow my mind to wander.

Now there is something that you must know about "just woken up" mike. He's generally angry...at everything. This is why I usually just don't talk until about 10. Though while in africa MB found a little trick that would significantly reduce my grump time, food.

But this morning, as i lay there, my mind went over all the things that I need to do still, -read 100 pages - write 3 papers -research said papers - brush my teeth - find friends - figure out what i'm going to do with my life - decided if i want to ever get married (i never said these things made sense) - write a well though out and meaningful blog - shave - get a drink - call my sick grandmother - study for a western civ. test - buy plane ticket home - put on pants!

It was torturous.

And this may be why i have trouble sleeping at night. Somewhere deep within the cacophony that is my subcontious i am trying to avoid these thoughts. So what's the solution...

I'm just going to stop thinking.

(looks around for "The Hills" season 2 dvd)

Muslims...the new black.

Incase you forgot the elections are only 2 weeks away.
It's all very exciting. If for no other reason then because this 8 month spectacle will be over.

Some people are really encouraged to see that a black man will very likely be our next president. I'm not though.

Why? Because I don't think it actually shows anything about this country moving away from it's racism.

About 3 months ago I received a mass e-mail "warning" me that Obama is an Arab. Which for some reason means that he has terrorist roots. And then a few days ago a women at a mcCain rally expressed that she couldn't trust him because he was an Arab.

Now I understand that most people don't think or believe these things, that they know they are crazy ignorance. The real things that steals my excitement for a country devoid of popular racism are people's reaction to these.

They retort with an assurance that he is not. That he is for sure a Christian and an American. Or as McCain replies to that women, that he's "a decent family man citizen." When people's real reaction should be...

WHO THE HELL CARES IF HE IS OR ISN'T!!

The fact that there is so much fear of people of Arab decent, that Obama's ethnicity should even have to be defended, that it isn't exposed as pure ignorant idiocy that him being an Arab would mean he's any less of a man or candidate, shows the racism that still exists.

Before we are Americans we are still human. Still broken fallen beings ruled by our fears, judging in our ignorance and having a long way to go.

THE BIBLE!!!

I'm learning a lot about it here. Its and interesting experience studying it while also studying history and sociology. It creates an interesting lens to look at it through.

In response to these thoughts i have actually written about 4 different "blogs" trying to describe them. When after writng them i always realize 3 things.

1. This thing is long! Even I don't want to read it.

2. Mike you are a preachy self righteous bastard. Seriously, who do you think you are.

3. My ramblings on these things are confusing at best.

and so i quickly erase them and come to this conclusion,

Scripture is big. Not so much big in a size sense (though it is) i mean big in a meaning sense. It cuts to a very deep core of reality and truth and takes lives and even generations to dig through and fully discover. Which seems right if it's talking about a real God over simplicity for the sake of easy consumption just wouldn't cut it. And fully understanding it would take time and effort and some real wrestling.

If i can't express these things i'm thinking about in a concise and understandable manner, i'm missing something, and need to wrestle with it some more.

And the award for most annoying goes to...

I took this photo as i was sitting in a large room waiting to hear what Donald Miller (of "blue like jazz" fame) was going to come and say.

while Sitting there reading and retaining a healthy skepticism (I always do when it comes to famous christians) i hear behind me.


WOOOOOO DONALD, I LOVE DONALD! (insert inane banter for the soul purpose of getting attention). This went on for well, untill the brother actually came out and began to speak. Then they simply transitioned into quiet inane banter for the purpose of...who the hell knows.

All that being said i have dubbed the 2 males and open mouth female behind me, "the most annoying people at Eastern University." Congratulations! I'll probably sit next to you in a class at some point.

This is freaking ridicules

I lost my pants.

Seriously, who and how does someone loose their pants.

I've looked everywhere for them too.

geez...this is getting bad. What am I going to be like when i'm 70?

FALL IS HERE!! FALL IS HERE!!!


that is all.

I'm having issues...where's my sugar daddy?

When i started going to school here i though i knew exactly what i wanted to do. I wanted to work for some kind of non-profit that worked with people either over seas or in a inner city environment. Simple right.

But in the last month or so i have been studying and reading a lot about non-profit and mainly international aid agencies. It turns out...a lot of them don't do a lot of good. Sure they mean well and on a small one to one person level they help that person. But when you back up and look at the whole picture, at how they are affecting the total development and economic progress of that area/nation, it turns out, a lot of them may very well be doing harm. It's complicated. Way more complicated then i ever though it could be, but still that seems to be the consensus among folks who study this kind of thing.

And so now...now i'm not sure i want to do that anymore. which raises another question...

WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO!?


I think this might be the answer....it's good...right?

a little more insight into life here.

ast week in a mag. called Philidelphia they did a story. Mainly it was about a band here called mewithoutyou but in it they talk about the church I go to here and some people i have gotten to meet there. it's a little cynical but still fair, just how i like it.

He starts with...
"Philadelphia is either home to the most genuinely Christian movement in America or it’s a festering spiritual slum. All depends on how you look at it."

Well see.

Here is the link to the article:
http://www.philadelphiaweekly.com/articles/17703/cover-story

People watching: A cinematic adventure

At this moment i am sitting at the on campus bookstore. stuffed inconsicuasly into the corner where i sit, type and just generally lurk. Why do i choose this one extremely unsociable spot? because...

I like to watch people. Though i don't partake in it to the full extent i would like to because i think it makes me creepy.

(And at all costs you gotta avoid the creepy.)



I feel the best way to do this is to throw some headphones into your ears, the itunes choose some sounds for you and slowly let your gaze pan the crowed.

It feels like the end to almost every Gray's Anatomy episode. A slow montage set to music for tone...for no real reason other then emotional masturbation.

At them same time I feel like it helps me put the whole world into a context. A lense other then the foggy glasses I usually find myself squinting to see through, that i can watch reality through. I've been doing this a lot lately because i feel slightly out of controle...more on that later.

The best music in my humble opinion to do this with...
Nanties......................................Beirut
Boy with a coin..........................Iron and wine
For the windows of paradise......Sufjan Stevens
Jezebel......................................Iron and Wine
Modern Love.............................Bloc Party
Marching bands in Manhattan...Death Cab for Cutie
In the Sun.................................Joseph Aurther
Breath Me.................................Sia

Sure it might make you a little Melancholy but...

TRY IT!

This IS genius!!

It is not a secret that I am generally skeptical of anything retail related. Maybe this comes from growing up in the ultra consumer focused Land of L.A. suburbs. Or maybe it's because by nature I am a bit of a contrarian. Either way as soon as a advertisment tells me I NEEEEEEED to buy something, the defenses come up.

Don't try to convince me need something. Actually i probably am better off without it. I DO WHAT I WANT!!! I REFUSE YOU!!!

ya, it's gets dramatic.

But i have 2 vices that get past my radar every time.
1. tattoos/art. I always feel justified in buying this. Mainly because I feel like giving to artists is like donating to the bettering of society. The more art there is in a place the better i feel like it is. Ya, i know there are tons of reason this is not true but were just talking about feeling's here people so take it easy.

2. Music. This one is on the same level as art except that added in is the fact that I really like it and when I discover a new band that others don't know it makes me feel cool.

All this to say, I have recently stumbled upon the genius feature on I-tunes (no plug intended). This thing is really going to be a problem for me. All kinds of music recommended to me based off of songs I already like...dang it...how can i resist.
Sure it's a bit hit or miss, throwing in tracks that I suspect someone paid to have there. Bust still every now and then it leads to an undiscovered gem.

So if the next time you speak to me i am impoverished and humming some heavenly melody you have not heard before...you know why.